Had my morning tea at 2 o'clock in the night

Yesterday was a very bad day for me, rather I should say a day when everything went wrong. Till 10 o' clock in the morning, everything was fine and going as per my schedule but after that everything stopped. My tab stopped working with no internet connection at home. For a while I felt so disconnected from the whole world. I realized how dependent we are these days on internet. I can skip a day's meal but without internet connection, cant think of surviving. 

I struggled a lot to use my mobile to get the internet connection. I put the data card on my mobile but everything was in vain and for ten hours there was not net connection at home. I somehow managed but managing Jojo in the evening without internet was little difficult. After Kunal came from office, somehow he managed to switch on the tab and get back the internet connection. I felt so relieved. Before going to bed I set the alarm on my mobile at 6 o' clock in the morning and went to sleep. 

As usual I woke up at 6 o' clock and brushed my teeth, made tea for myself and had it. I checked my tab to see whether it is working properly or not. My tab was showing the time 1.30 am. I was sure that may be yesterday we switched it on and off quite a few times and so the time has not been set properly.I prepared breakfast and also packed the lunch box for Kunal. Since both father and son were not waking up, I switch on the lights of the bed room too. I called Jojo quite a few times but he didn't wake up. Before getting ready to drop Jojo at school, I usually put my wrist watch and surprisingly it showed the time 2 o' clock. For a second, I thought, has it stopped working? Then I doubt. I checked my table clock and it was really 2 o' clock at night. Oh God !!! Then I realized its not the tab or the wrist watch, its my mobile. May be yesterday while switching it on, I forgot to set the time. I didn't know whether to laugh or cry at the middle of the night. 

Since in Finland now the sun has become a late riser and never rises before 9 o' clock, its really difficult to realize whether its 6 o' clock in the morning or 2 o' clock at night. Immediately I switched off the lights before Jojo would wake up and went to bed. But I couldn't sleep. Till 4 o' clock I was awake and after that went to sleep and again woke up at 6 in the morning. But this time its really 6 a.m. 

Within a next few days we are going to India and we have to reach airport by 3 o' clock at night to catch our morning flight. For few days, I was thinking how difficult will it be to wake up at the middle of the night and get ready for the airport. Now I am sure, God has listened to this and perhaps made me a rehearsal for the same. 

Whatever it is, while brushing my teeth again and having tea for the second time, I found the incident quite funny. Perhaps this is one of the funniest moments of my life till now and just cant resist to share with you all. 

Kids having too many toys these days

Last Sunday when I was cleaning my son's cupboard, I was really shocked to see the huge number of toys he has collected in the last few months. I should rectify myself here. Its not him who has collected, its us, the parents who are responsible for it and have bought so many of them. When at the beginning of this year we have moved to Finland, I remember I packed a few small cars and two sets of blocks with us in the suitcase and left four carton boxes of toys back in Kolkata. All those toys he received as gifts since birth from friends and relatives, some of which he never used and they are still kept lying in the boxes.

When we arrived in Finland it was too cold and he had not joined school yet and almost all day long he used to stay at home. It was me who was worried about him and thought he might get bored all day playing with fewer toys and without any circle of friends. So every time I used to go to market, I used to buy toys for him to keep him engage at home. Since he was just two and half year old and could not read books on his own, most of the time he used to play on his own with toys as I could not make time for him to read out  books except at night before going to sleep.  

I remember when I was at his age, me and my sister hardly had one-tenth of his toys but still we were so happy and never used to get bored playing with the same old dolls and kitchen set. Then why in his case I think of him getting bored playing with same toys? I was brought up in a joint family where I used to spend time with my grand parents,cousins uncles and aunts besides my parents which my son is deprived of. And its obviously one of the reasons in today's nuclear family, that parents keep their kids engaged with toys. But is this justification enough for my son having toys which are doubled his weight? I don't think so.

I know its not the case of my son only. Kids of this generation have lots of toys. But is it healthy for a kid getting so many toys? Sometimes I really get confused. But I am sure they do not need too many toys to be entertained. Buying too many toys is not going to help them rather teach them to give away and share their toys.

 I have made up my mind. While cleaning his cupboard last weekend, I asked my son to separate those toys which he wants to give away. And surprisingly he sorted out some of them. I packed those toys and kept separately to give them away. And after going to Kolkata next month, I am going to unpack those carton boxes full of toys and giving them to poor children who don't have a single toy to play with.

The Unique Relation between a Mother-in-law and a Daughter-in-law

One of the biggest challenges of marriage for an Indian girl is to get along well with her in-laws. And when it comes about her relation with the mother-in-law, there are lots of ups and downs and she has to be little tricky to deal with it. During my professional life I have witnessed a number of marriages suffering from tension because of this bitter relation with mother-in-laws which finally ended up in divorce.
We always say to show respect to elders but every individual needs a minimum respect. Even a five year old kid can demand that. If the old lady expects respect from her daughter-in-law, it is also her duty to respect the new member of her family.

I have heard people saying that after marriage the mother-in-law gets a daughter and a daughter-in-law gets a new mother. But I really doubt. If it was so, then there would not be any case of bride burning, divorce and domestic violence and on the other hand there would not be any case of an old woman living a lonely life abandoned by her children.  

A woman always wants to be the most important person in her husband's life and there lies the problem. In most of the cases, the mother-in-law could not accept this change in her son's life and she is not ready to give her position as she was that important person in her son's life before marriage. I have heard many such stories from my friends and relatives who have suffered from such possessive attitude of their mother-in-laws that has affected not only their career but also mental health.

 But every problem has a solution. And what I think there lies the real power of a daughter-in-law. She has to be calm, patient and be positive towards her new mom-in-law. Like she is trying to get adjusted in the new family, may be that old lady is trying her best to get fit into her new role as a mother-in-law.  Its better to give some time and nurture the new relation. But that doesn't mean that the woman has to accept physical and mental torture from her mother-in-law.

In today's life, when most of the women are working and get busy with their professional life, they hardly get time to sit and chat with their mother-in-laws. But this old woman misunderstands and feels unwanted. Now the daughter-in-law has to deal it intelligently. In order to strengthen the bond between the two, she has to be a little attentive towards her mom-in-law. Preparing meals together on a weekend in the kitchen is really a good idea to spend some time together.

It is quite natural to have difference of opinions among the different family members and specially when they belong to two generations. Everyone of us has faced this with our parents but when it comes to the mother-in-law and daughter-in-law relation the situation becomes worse. If both of them understand that these differences are nothing but the same that they faced with their own children and parents, much of the problem is solved.

Sometimes lack of communication creates a big problem. So it is always better to interact. If some words hurt either of the two, they must tell each other rather keeping it up bottled inside each other. Many a times talking openly prevent the relationship being stained.

I have seen mother-in-laws always comparing their lives when they were young with her daughter-in--laws. They always tell stories about how their mother-in-laws used to treat them. Sometimes they think since they were being dominated earlier, it is their right and time to dominate the young lady of her family. There lies the big mistake. They have to be aware of the social changes and know that now-a-days when every woman is being independent, she would neither tolerate her dominance nor her torture. Rather if she becomes friendly with her daughter-in-law, she will get a happier family.

Many a times the tussle between the two increases while rearing of children. Who doesn't want her child to raise up like the way she wants? But sometimes the over concern attitude of grand parents leads to constant interference which in turn spoils the relation between the two ladies. Just like mother-in-law must understand that too much love and care may spoil the kid, the daughter-in-law must also allow her kids to spend time with their grand mother.

For every lady, mother-in-law is the most important woman of her marriage and dealing with her with extreme care and caution is important to avoid maximum conflicts of marital life. Once the relation between these two women get disturbed the peace of the family is broken and the most affected person who get sand-witched between these two ladies is the man who get confused about whose side is to be taken, who is right? mother or wife !!!